“Why is it when people go to gatherings they ‘dress to impress’ and take great care in preparing themselves to look good? Imagine someone going to meet the best king or president in this world, how would they dress? Yet when they go meet the King of all Kings they dress in their worst clothes? Umar said (saying from him): ‘If you would be shy or embarrassed to go into the market with such clothing, then don’t stand in front of Allah with them either.’”
So, they tell you things aren’t always what they seem. And that’s pretty true. But sometimes, they are, even if you don’t want them to be.
When I first noticed that my prayer clothes were torn, it was kind of amazing. There were three holes: one at the forehead, and one at each of my knees. I’d probably had these prayer clothes for close to ten years. Wow, I thought. All that bowing and prostrating and praying had taken its toll on my clothes. I was pretty proud, actually.
I prayed in those clothes for a while, thinking, you know, maybe I should cover up with something else when I pray. I didn’t look all that presentable when I wore them. But, I mean, really, why? I’d had these clothes for the longest time, and they were the easiest thing to put on. I just slipped the piece of cloth over my head, and voila: I was covered from head to toe. Besides, the holes were… prayer holes, right? Didn’t that make them special? Worthy of my keeping and cherishing, ’til death did us part? And anyway, wasn’t prayer about what you felt on the inside who cares what you look like on the outside?
But I’ll never forget Shaykh Abdulbary’s words from the “The Purification Act,” when he began by quoting to us the words of Allah ta’la: “O Children of Adam! Take your adornment (by wearing your clean clothes, your best clothes) while praying” [7:31].
It is actually a mistake, Shaykh Abdulbary told us, that many people make, when they pray in their pajamas. This is not how you would want to appear in front of other people, especially not in front of honored or respected people, and Allah is even more deserving of such respect. It’s true, he pointed out, that the Prophet peace be upon him prayed in the same clothes he slept in, but that’s because that was the only clothes he had. He prayed in his best clothes. The reason we pray in our pajamas is because we’re too lazy.
Pajamas my foot, I thought. I pray in torn clothes.
So, when I got home, I started by tearing up all my pride, and all my built up excuses. All that prayer, bah. Like, was I really praying all those years, or was I just barely praying? Was I really praying with my heart, or was I just moving my limbs like I knew I was supposed to, rubbing the cloth against the ground until it made holes? And I knew of course that the clothes with the holes were exactly what they looked like: rags not fit to be worn, and a ridicule to be seen in. I knew I was in trouble. Not only was my prayer slowly rotting on the outside, it was slowly rotting on the inside too.
Yes, that day, I decided to renew my faith, and start a new beginning. That same day I tore up the already torn cloth some more. I tore it up into pieces so tiny, I’d never be tempted to wear them for prayer again. I tore it up, but that was the easy part. As for the rest of my prayer… I still have a long way to go…
